Whether you are currently involved in a boundary dispute with your neighbor or in that period of despondency following the conclusion of your matter, you almost certainly feel had.
Why didn’t your legal counsel tell you at the beginning that you would feel like a spent cartridge laying around at a crime scene after all was said and done?
Not a hard question to answer, either your counsel knew what was going to happen and was willing to suck the venom out of you in the form of money, emotion, and time and went ahead with it anyway … or they didn’t.
A lawyer’s competence at pursuing a matter at court is at best 5% of the contest. The remaining 95% or more is about keeping you convicted in your pursuit.
But, here’s the rub. Attorneys are taught to “think like an attorney.” What does this mean? It means that they are taught to strip out all the emotionality and make the matter a pure intellectual exercise.
The problem with this though is that these problems are never purely an intellectual exercise. In fact, it is rare that they have anything to do with the intellect at all.
Instead, neighbors are seeking to litigate something on the ground vis-a-vis their neighbors as a proxy for something about themselves that they are seeking to litigate with themselves.
Without fail there is a component of fear involved. Fear which when we get right down to it exists on both sides of the often rather small little wedge which is at contest.
That fear can be very focused toward a neighbor who is perceived to be acting aggressively or without any focus other than if I give up on this my other neighbors will no longer respect me.
Sure there are other outlets of fear which may be the manifested cause of the issue in between these, but ultimately the concern does relate to fear.
The ironic thing is that though many attorneys who regularly practice in this proceed to lead their keep like sheep to slaughter because their clients are fearful of being fleeced by their neighbor, the contest in the vast majority of cases is going to cost more than the value of the land ever could.
So people get to that point of “tap-out” and they have to now negotiate a truce with the opposing side. What an abject waste.
Why should attorneys gain in a situation which is best akin to the Vietnam idea that ‘we had to destroy the village, in order to save the village?’
The attorneys essentially come in and by drawing down the resources of the respective sides, take all the will to legally fight out.
The neighbors relationship is now completely destroyed. Again, what a waste!
So, what to do to recover after your cartridge has been spent and the lawyers are gone?
It’s time to rebuild. Rebuild yourself in such a way that a matter like this will never come up again.
At minimum, that means taking precaution as you move seek to purchase any property.
I would add though, that what it really means is to figure out a way to move beyond fear.
The fact that you got yourself into a situation in which you likely spent well north of $10,000 is highly suggestive that being able to eliminate fear is something that you really value.
The elimination of unhealthy fear is something that is attainable. And if you are a ‘spent cartridge’ it is highly likely that it is necessary.
That being the case, I encourage you to switch out of the hell of litigating with your fear line at the margins and instead go for what you really want.
What do you really want? That’s something that you might not have the answer to as of yet, but working on helping you figure that out and then going out and making it a reality is now my line of work.
I spent far too much time helping neighbors from mauling each other like big cats on the savannah. My aim is to help people quickly move past that miserable stage of life so they can refocus their formidable strengths not on protecting “Five Blades of Grass,” but rather using it to make meaningful changes in their lives.
So, if you haven’t sorted out your neighbor boundary dispute mess, let me help you do that and get you to a spot far beyond your current condition.
To do so, I invite you to click on over to start learning how you can initiate your own Boundary Breakthroughs [HERE].
Photo Credit: Jaco-Mari Futcher at https://randfonteinherald.co.za/280296/update-attempted-robbery-turns-shooting-cbd/.